THE MANOR PARK GOLDENEYE

A grey-backed gold-eyed duck came down to the north of  E one-two;

Arrived one night in a wind-blown flight, put bird-watchers in a stew.

"It shouldn't be there, around here they're quite rare, are them Goldeneyes". It was true.

But the word flew around, the birders came down, and the consternation grew.

For the duck swum around and dived up and down; though weather was wild and foul.

And the twitchers - though game - couldn't give it a name; and they ended up having a row.

One said, "It seems to me - though I can't really see - but as far as I can tell,

It's a cross-bred duck, victim of - err - bad luck, and I'm off home for me tea".

But those left behind, they strined and they strined ~ their eyes, 'cos they weren't so sure.

That duck, in the lake - their reputations they'd stake - that was a Goldeneye there, that they saw.

Well, the night came down, no good staying around; they'd come back tomorrow at dawn.

To 'ave another look - with a good bird-book - but by dawn, well, the bird it 'ad gawn.

They looked up and down, walked round and round - but the gold-eyed duck they couldn't find.

So they went back 'ome, thought the bird must 'ave flown, complaining how fate was unkind.

But back at the lake a drake upspake; to a friend of his he said :

"How are your eyes today? Conjunctivitis gone away? They don't look quite so bad".

"Much better" she replied, "yesterday I tried some 'Golden Eye Ointment' and it's a fact

That it works much better than that old duckter - you know, he's just an old quack".

Paul Ferris,  25 Nov 1977